human beings have a snake inside our mouth, the vicious tongue. But to control it, we are blessed with 32 teeth. We must be cautious before the snake spits poison, because words once said cannot be withdrawn. So it is with some acts and deeds.
Why do we become unhappy? It is common to become miserable after we are rude, brash, irritated and upset. We react, and then we regret: “I should not have said that. It was wrong for me to do that.” But it is already said. The damage has been caused, and we suffer.
Do we see this RDX around us? Bengaluru is now the second most congested city in the world. It takes a minimum 36 minutes to travel just 10 kilometres. Every rush-hour commuter loses 168 hours a year to traffic. Seven full days, sitting at signals. Horns blare, tempers rise, words fly out of windows. Can we blame the traffic? The traffic only shows us who is reacting. And the reaction does not stay on the road. In May 2026, one in three Indian employees said they feel anger every single day. We carry it from the signal to the office, and from the office back home.
RDX: React, Destroy, eXplode
Have you heard of RDX? It is the infamous explosive used by the military. When it comes to us, RDX is React, Destroy and eXplode. It is the rascal mind that inflates the ego and spontaneously reacts without reflection. Once we react, it’s done. We can’t delete it. We can’t reverse it.
In my book, Life Is to Transcend the Lower Self and Attain the Higher Self, I have shared that we can identify people who are still living in their Lower Self by looking at their RDX index. They get so easily irritated and upset, and so frequently burn with anger. They destroy themselves, and they also create an environment of negativity and stress. Of course, their life is a mess!
RDX is the absence of intelligence. It is the absence of self-control. It is the absence of reflection and contemplation. We cannot judge something in a moment. We cannot understand why somebody says or does something. So reacting is both unfair and needless.
What Is Your RDX Index?
How do we know whether we are living as the Lower Self or the Higher Self? Pause and ask yourself these questions. Be honest. Nobody is watching except your own Consciousness.
- Do I get irritated and upset easily?
- After I speak, do I often think, “I should not have said that”?
- Do I react before I understand why someone said or did something?
- Do I judge a person in a moment?
- Does anger visit me almost every day?
- When I am right, do I feel I have the right to react?
- When I am upset, do the people around me become tense?
- After a reaction, do I pay the price with an apology or a strained relationship?
- Does my mind decide before my intellect gets a chance?
Count your “yes” answers. That is your RDX index. The higher the count, the more the rascal mind is in charge. Don’t be disappointed. The very act of asking is the first step. When we watch the mind, we are no more blind!
What the research says about reacting
Many of us believe that letting our anger out brings relief. Psychologist Brad Bushman tested this. People who vented their anger by hitting a punching bag became more aggressive afterwards. The explosion did not empty the anger. It fed it.
Stanford psychologist James Gross found that people who pause and see a situation afresh before acting, which he calls reappraisal, experience more positive emotion and greater well-being than those who bottle up their feelings. The pause does the work.
RDR: Respond, Don’t React
What is the difference? We react with the mind. It snaps at people. It is negative and rude. But when we move to Consciousness, we respond with our intelligence. We are logical and peaceful. Every response becomes a positive seed that will bear fruit, just as every reaction will destroy and make our life explode, stealing our peace and making our life a mess.
In my book, 100 Happpiness Tricks, this is a trick I ask everyone to pick. After we react, we often regret. But the damage is already done. Undoing it means paying a price in our Happpiness currency. Why waste our Happpiness dollars paying for a needless reaction? Why not respond with love, care, compassion and forgiveness?
The Four-F Formula
Responding is not the same as giving in. Sometimes we may have to be tough. If we are not firm, it may not work. In my book, Unhappiness Is a Choice! Happpiness Is a Choice Too, I have shared a formula for these moments. Even when we want to be tough, we can be:
- Friendly
- Frank
- Fair
- Firm
The Four-F Formula is a good habit. It makes us respond rather than react.
How to practise it
Learn to live as a witness and observe life as it unfolds. There is no need to react. A reaction is always knee-jerk. A response is conscious. Pause, and respond in Consciousness using your intellect, rather than with a mind directed by your ego.
The next time you want to react, at a signal, in a meeting, at the dinner table, remind yourself that it is a recipe for disaster. Teach yourself this trick: I will never react. I will always respond through my intelligence, in my Consciousness. I won’t let the mind react.
Things will happen. They are meant to happen. But we are not meant to react. When we develop patience, we live with peace. We let the storm pass.
Why live as the Lower Self,
eXplode and Destroy?
Why not transform to the Higher Self,
So that Peace we can enjoy?Therefore, RDR, don’t RDX — respond, don’t react and be peaceful and happpy!
— HAPPPY AiR, Life Is to Transcend the Lower Self and Attain the Higher Self
Take the next step, free: Life Is to Transcend the Lower Self and Attain the Higher Self. Download the book
About HAPPPY AiR — Atman in Ravi
The Happpiness Ambassador, is a transformational author of over 110 books, a TEDx speaker, lyricist and singer of more than 1,500 life songs, a philanthropist for over three decades, and an Awakened Soul on a mission to Touch, Trigger and Transform lives, and to make this a Happpy world.
The Happpy AiR Movement led by him is a movement to inspire people to discover true, lasting Happpiness through the 3P Happpiness philosophy, and spread Happpiness to others.
The movement encourages people to go beyond temporary Pleasure and discover the deeper joy and fulfillment of Peace and Purpose. Pleasure, Peace and Purpose are the 3 Ps, the 3 keys to Eternal Happpiness.